Saturday, February 15, 2014

Reality

Have you ever had one of those moments, when you really realize the impact of your decisions? Well I have, twice. 

The first time was a week before I left for my first semester at BYU-Idaho. Throughout the entire process of applying for schools my senior year, I never doubted my decisions. When I found out I was accepted to BYU-Idaho it felt so right, like it was really where I needed to be. I spent the whole summer before getting stuff ready to move-in to my first apartment on my own. Then the week before I left, I realized that I would have to cook everything for myself. And do all the grocery shopping. If I didn't do any of this, I wouldn't eat. This may seem silly but I'm not a very talented cook, especially 5 years ago. At this point I realized that I was leaving home and most likely never coming back. I was moving to Idaho, what's even in Idaho?? (The answer I quickly learned is nothing)

I had this same kind of realization this week. I had just got home from work and was just relaxing and watching reruns of "The Middle", which is a hilarious comedy about an American family. I started thinking about how quickly my pregnancy is going by. I'm already 23 weeks pregnant! This week marked 4 months until our due date. This little guy is growing so much everyday and it seems like he will be joining us quickly. 

Then I started thinking about how life will be when he is here. And oh my goodness, our lives will literally never be the same. This little human will rely on us for everything. He will be completely dependent of us. And my mom will be here to help the first couple weeks, but she won't be around forever. And JT will have to go back to work after a week or two. Which means this beautiful little human that is growing inside of me will always need me, so I'll never get a break. 

It's not like this wasn't considered when we decided it was time to expand our family. But realizing this will be happening to us in a matter of months is a little daunting. I have spent enough time with kids to know what it's like to have them depend on you for all their needs as a babysitter, which means I know how much work it is. But the longest amount of time I have ever been in charge of children is 3 days. It was exhausting, and I wasn't the parent. It can be a lot easier to deal with other people's children, say things like "you can't do that because your mom said so". Well now I'm going to be the mom. And it's intimidating. 

But, it is also exciting. Although I struggled at first when I adjusted to life on my own as a college student, it worked out. And now I can say I have mastered a few meals. So I'm probably going to struggle with the little things of raising a little boy, like the sleep deprivation and getting over my need to always keep things perfectly clean. But I will learn from my mistakes, and I'm confident that with some faith I won't do anything to mess up our child. And if I do, we plan on having a few more children so I guess they will just turn out better. 



Both pictures are from this week, so 23 weeks pregnant (about 5 months) and I now have a transformed belly button, an outie. And my baby bump now sticks out farther than my chest.

Just Kidding...We Aren't Moving

A roller coaster is the only way I can accurately describe my life these last few months. Specifically my emotions and going through the process of finding a job for JT. 

Because honestly, it has been hell.

Making real life, adult decisions is hard. At the beginning of February we decided to move to Utah, and I still didn't feel great about it. Something just didn't feel right. Although I was so excited to have a new job for JT, with great benefits and we would be living in an area that actually has a population, close to family and old friends. But something still didn't feel right to me. So I decided to just have faith. Almost everyday following our decision to move to Utah I had some kind of emotional meltdown. Stressing about leaving my amazing job at the Middle School here in Rexburg, leaving our apartment early from our lease, paying to move our stuff down to Utah then paying for a new apartment, without moving costs provided by JT's new job. Oh, and worrying about my pregnancy and paying medical bills. 

This is what I mean by the last couple months being hell. When you stress about everything, it's easy to spend every moment of your day stressing about finances. 

We finally found a place we really liked in Lehi, Utah and were about to pay the deposit (already sent in our rental application). It is a beautiful, new apartment, with great amenities and not too far away from JT's job. 

Then Monday morning we woke up ready to get going on our moving process, and JT has an email. From who?? The company that has been #1 on our list since December, located in Idaho Falls. The one that said they want to hire JT but were not sure how long it would be until they could offer him a job. They finally got the official go on hiring four new people, and JT was near the top of the list. The manager JT has been in contact with knew JT was possibly taking another job, but still wanted him to entertain an offer from them. 

We know how great the company is, so we thought 'why not?' JT had only given verbal confirmation of the offer in Riverton, Utah, but they hadn't had him sign anything yet or start paperwork. So JT set up an interview for that afternoon (Monday) to talk to this company, see what specific position JT would be in, what they would pay, and what the benefits were. He had nothing to lose since he already had another job, and he knew what his position and pay would be, so if they didn't offer anything as good as the church he would just be able to walk and it wouldn't affect us. 

The company waited to give the offer until Tuesday morning. And wow. It was a substantial amount more in pay. Plus it is salaried, not hourly (we view as a plus, knowing what exactly what you will make every month makes for a better managed budget). It is a real full-time job, not a 1-year hire. And the benefits also include vision (on top of medical and dental). It is a great job and a great opportunity for JT. Plus, it is a lot cheaper to live in Idaho which will give us more money for saving.

So JT took this new job. Many of you many have heard of the company, it is McAfee the computer security software company. It is actually owned by Intel which makes for great connections for future job relocation and great opportunities for future promotions, and in the coming year they are changing the company name to Intel Security. JT's position is going to be software development engineer in test, or SDET. I don't entirely understand what that means but he is excited for this awesome opportunity! I'm excited for the higher pay, which will be such a great blessing when I stop working and become a full-time mom.

Life has been crazy, but we feel good with where it is taking us right now. And although the process has been long and hard, in the end it paid off. JT ended up getting four job offers within two weeks (3 in Idaho and 1 in Utah), giving us the opportunity to see which job would be the best for JT. We are also excited for JT to be done with unemployment!